Wednesday 24 April 2013

Regression...for WASO

Hello,

regressive stuff is coming quite naturally to Squiblet and us at the moment.  She loves to be held like a baby and will throw her head back and say "baby" when you give her a cuddle and then "pass" so I "pass the baby" to Mama.  She likes it when we rock her, feed her milk with a bottle and sing rockabye baby and it's all very comfortable.  It feels comfortable to us because we have read about the importance of these things, but also because it's nice to know that we are sharing these special moments with her.  I think it would all feel a bit more new age and regressive if she was, five, for example.  I wonder if she is still regressing then, whether I will feel the same.  I know some people think we shouldn't be giving her a bottle any more, that at almost two she is too old...I say...pfft...what's the bloody problem!  The girl can recognise the difference between lichen and moss...she walks, she climbs, she talks and she is progressing at an incredible rate...why should I care that she likes to drink her milk from a teat rather than a sippy cup?  I quite like eating petit filous with my finger which some people would probably think is weird...but then those people can either silently judge me from the sidelines or go away...because I'm not hurting anyone and neither is Squiblet with her bottle.  And I honestly don't think I would mind if she still wants a bottle from time to time when she's 5, 6, 7...if you're in the privacy of your own home, why not?  I guess at that age, other children may judge and then it becomes an issue, but well...I'll worry about that if and when it happens.

We thought that striking the balance between nurturing her and giving her the toddler independence she needs would be difficult but it isn't so far.  When she gets tired of spiking her food with her fork, she asks for some help and we feed her a bit.  I can't imagine having to feed myself with the motor skills she has!  I guess it's a bit like using your left hand to write because it just doesn't quite feel fluid and natural yet.  I can see that eating makes her tired, especially cereal where she has to keep her spoon the right way up and angle it just so or she ends up with it all over her.  We have made great progress this week as she can now drink from an open cup (one with 2 handles).  It's very cute because she looks super serious and says "carefully!" and then very slowly slurps it.  It ends up with all sorts of things floating in it but she is very proud of herself and we are very proud of her too.  It's funny because I read the Mary Sheridan Birth to Five Years book the other day to see what sorts of things she should be doing and that was one of them so I thought I would try her with it and...tah dah...the girl can do it!  She's such an observer though.  You won't be concentrating and you turn to face her and she's mirroring your arm position and facial expression exactly.  I was sitting cross-legged the other day and she couldn't continue with anything until she could do it too.

I've wandered from the topic of regression into jabbering on about how wonderful she is again.  Apologies...but she is!! He he...sorry.  Right yes, regression.  I'm not sure what else we do. Lots and lots of cuddles is the main thing...lots and lots of the same books...she quite likes reading her baby books but I think all kids are like that because they like the familiarity.

I'm enjoying having a theme to write to.  Thanks WASO folk!

Take care everyone. x

11 comments:

  1. Thanks for writing on regression and linking up to the Weekly Adoption Shout Out :-)

    I love your attitude towards the judgement of others - if they don't like it then they can go away. Keep going, sounds like you and your girl are doing just fine!

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    1. Thank you for leaving such a nice comment! I love the way that WASO helps connect people in this way. x

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  2. Oh crumbs, OB is still having his bedtime milk in a bottle cuddled up on my knee and he's well past two! I know of other children who have given up the bottle way before then, and others who have carried it on way after. Like so many of these things, they are so small in the great scheme of things that they don't really seem worth worrying about. I don't give him milk in a cup because he's so careless (waving it around and so on!) which doesn't matter with water, but necessitates a change of pyjamas with milk. Perhaps if he's still on the bottle at, say, three, we'll have a ceremonial switch-over to a big boy cup. And I don't even have the comfort of knowing that he can differentiate moss from lichen . . . pretty sure I couldn't do that myself actually! :-)

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    1. Well that's what comes of being a science teacher...what a geek!
      Thanks for your lovely comment. Milk does make everything smell really horrible doesn't it?! I'm starting operation "wash all of Squiblet's cot toys" because they are all pretty brown and stinky!

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  3. It is lovely to hear how you recognise her need to do the regressive things but at the same time are encouraging her progress. Sounds like you have it all spot on. I think if she needs to do different things at aged 3,4 or 5 you will probably go with it and not worry about what others think because you are quite obviously so focused on her needs that it will be your only priority, what's right for her.

    So pleased that you are sharing your progress on The Weekly Adoption Shout Out. x

    P.S. I'd like to ask you to be involved with something would you please email me at thepuffindiaries.com or tweet me @puffindiaires

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  4. Just realised I didn't give the right e-mail thepuffindiaries@gmail.com

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    1. Really enjoyed your post , it is so important to go with the flow , remember these children missed out no matter how old they were when placed . one of my posts on support is on regression and giving my eight year old a bottle it really helped her catch up on the oral stage which she missed . well done for doing your own thing .

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  5. As an adoptive newbie it is a wonderful education to read posts like these. I am learning a great deal from this sort of thing - my thanks to you.

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    1. Thanks for your feedback, I'm so glad that you are finding it useful to read about our experiences. x

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  6. Just found your blog through WASO and am enjoying it very much:)

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    1. Thank you. I'm glad you are finding it useful. And thanks for leaving a comment. It's nice to be able to connect with people. x

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