Wow. I'm earning my Mummy stripes by the day at the moment. Yesterday we had a wonderful afternoon of messy play and making oat and raisin cookies. Squiblet was in her Fun Pod grabbing hands full of the mixture and slapping them on the tray shouting "plop!" and "eat it!" Then it all went horribly wrong in the evening because (in the words of Dr Ranj of Cbeebies hit show Get Well Soon), Squiblet has a bug in her wee. Now, my cleavage has seen its fair share of random things being dropped down it...such is the way of being a rather clumsy F cup...but never before has it been filled with a whole days worth of child vomit. It was so hideous that after I had undressed a vomit soaked Squiblet and placed her onto her nice clean Mama, I looked down and laughed out loud. I don't think in all my worries about parenting I ever expected to be picking partially digested satsuma out of my bra!
So today we headed off to the doctor as Squiblet has been crying when she wees, and this, combined with the vomiting and fever, led me to think that she had a UTI (bug in her wee). The triage nurse called me at 9.00 to offer me an appointment at 9.40 and could I bring a urine sample. This gave me approximately 30 minutes to feed, dress, clean teeth and catch the urine of my poorly two year old. There were tears. My tears. Her tears. I'm a bit sickly and a bit tired and having woken up at 5.30 and got up at 6.15, this was just ALL TOO MUCH! Catching the urine of a non potty trained toddler is tricky at the best of times but with a 30 minute time limit I just couldn't handle the stress. "Mummy crying...Mummy sad?" Then she rubbed my back. Heartbreaking. I told her I wasn't sad but that I was tired and feeling a bit poorly and it was all just a bit much. Anyway somehow my tears were enough to make her wee! Somehow my woe guilted her into performing in a spectacular fashion on the potty. Much to her own surprise I think.
So...in 30 minutes we did all of the above and I even managed to clean my own teeth and get her snack ready. If it wasn't for the weeping I would have felt pretty proud of myself. We charged down the road and into the doctors as the clock struck 9.40. Wahoo! Where was my glass of champagne, bunch of flowers and cheering crowd? A table with an incredibly small amount of Duplo and some teenage girl fiction books about ponies would have to suffice. To be fair, I would have been happy with the doctor appearing at 9.40 instead of a cheering crowd. Instead...we waited...until 11.10....yes 1 1/2 hours...with a 2 year old...in a really hot waiting room with nothing but an incredibly small amount of Duplo and some teenage girl fiction books about ponies for company. Squiblet was marvellous. She kept me entertained saying things like "lady...stick...help her walk" and when a man came in hopping on one leg she said "man...jumping...kangarooooo!" "people...not smiling at Squiblet". And then...when we finally got to see the doctor, she had run out of urine dipsticks and nonchalantly said "oh well...it won't affect my diagnosis anyway!" Erm...YOU F*CKING WHAT?! Do you not realise the blood, sweat and tears it took me to get that wee...proudly presented to you in a hummus pot (in a truly middle class fashion). So she said she would send it off to the lab and packed me off with some antibiotics, calpol and calprofen.
What are the ethics of whether or not to pick up all the raisins your child drops on the floor? Somehow it seems like littering but today I was in no mood to pick up raisins!
She napped from 1-4 as poorly girls do and then we snuggled up and watched Room on The Broom which Mama and I recorded at Christmas pre-Squiblet's arrival. So the day ended well!
I'm perky again now. I just felt very stressed and out of control this morning. I couldn't really cope with having to dash out of the door and leave the house in a complete state. I should get over myself really. The flowers arrived when Mama got home! What a nice surprise. I'm so glad I have a co-parent who values what I do, and that I value what she does and we don't have a terrible time understanding each other. I downloaded a book on my Kindle and happened to pick one about a woman who is a disenchanted Mum who starts having an affair. There are far too many nobs in the story for my liking but it's the sort of trashy novel I quite like...and it makes me feel very lucky not to have a partner who sits on their arse and doesn't understand, care, or even want to understand.
Squiblet made me laugh yesterday because I coughed and over the baby monitor a little voice said "cough it up chicken Mummy!" I love that kid! :)