Friday 27 September 2013

Support


Just a quick post for #WASO over at The Adoption Social this week. sorry we've not posted much recently - seems like there's been lots going on.


I just wanted to take the opportunity, as the theme is "support", to give my take on the support we have received.





The support from our LA has been pretty dire. We began intros with no social workers in the office available to help us, and it continued in that vein with Squiblet's Social Worker retiring about a month after that.  I think we only had 2 home visits (not including the IRO visits, of which our SW only attended 1 of the 3) even though they were supposed to be fortnightly for 2 months, then monthly. We were left to arrange contact with the Foster Carer on our own, with no guidance. And again, when it came to our first ever contact with Squiblet's siblings the promised support never materialised.

Luckily we have coped well with our transition into the family we are today and we are extremely lucky to have incredibly supportive friends and family who have welcomed Squiblet with open arms, provided advice ("help - is this normal?!") and practical support. 

We know experienced Teachers, Doctors, Mums, Dads and kind, creative people who have all offered their perspectives. We have lovely friends who have babysat so we can go out together, and who we have had such fun with. We have wonderful family who have cooked, cleaned, looked after Squiblet and let us vegetate in their houses. 

Squiblet is surrounded by amazing, kind people who have shared joyful times with us and watched as she has grown from a subdued baby into an amazing little girl.

This afternoon is Squiblet's Celebration Hearing - and we are bringing as many of these lovely people with us as we can to share in our special day.

We really are blessed to have such precious support from all our friends and family - you help has made our journey to becoming a family a wonderful one, despite the hard times. So thank you.

Time to go - I'm weeping at my computer.

L x

Afterthought added later: thanks for all the lifts, trips to the zoo-beach-farm-twinclub, sewing (curtains, cushions, toys), mowing, books, fixing the toilet, help when Mama impaled herself, toys from carboots or the barn... too much support to possibly remember!

Thursday 12 September 2013

Relaxation! For WASO

How I relax has changed a lot over the last few months.  I used to love nothing more than spending a few hours in the kitchen making things like macaroons!  I really admire my friends who ACTUALLY DO THINGS of an evening.  I rush around like a mad thing tidying up while Mama does Squiblet's bath and then as soon as Squiblet is in her cot I collapse in a heap on the sofa, check Facebook, check my emails...sometimes look at Twitter although I don't fully understand what to do!  And then I watch TV for an hour, have a cuddle with Mama and then usually it's bedtime!  Not very glamorous.  I'm definitely not one for baking cakes at that time of day.  I suspect they wouldn't taste very nice as I like to have time and space to cook properly.

How I used to relax:

How I relax (this was Squiblet and I earlier today - we both have the sniffles!):

But having said that, Squiblet is actually now pretty good at baking!  She can crack eggs and spoon and dollop pretty well.  So we make cakes together.  I think I'll have to wait until she's at least three before I teach her the art of the macaroon but for now we'll make do with wonderful gloopy, chocolatey and slightly tacky cakes that we're still both proud of!


All for now! It's nap time and I think I fancy a cup of tea!

Holiday next week....WAHOOOOOOO! *keeping fingers firmly crossed that nothing jinxes it this time!*

xx

Friday 6 September 2013

Well, hello Autumn!

What a mad old couple of weeks.  I'm still pretty under the weather, now leaking huge amounts of green gloopy stuff but ho hum...I think I'm on the up.  I'm very irritated by the way that a few invisible pathogens have managed to turn me into a mum who allows more than half an hours TV watching and is more likely to manhandle my daughter rather than patiently wait for her to do things on her own unique toddler timescale.  I hate that part of me being below par as it makes us all miserable and afterwards I just think "for goodness sake, why didn't you just bloody wait like you usually do...instead you riled her with your impatience and now you're both more pissed off than you were before" eurgh, I hate feeling like I'm not doing a very good job.

But....I'm not here to whinge and wine.  I have assessed the behaviour above as ridiculous and am now doing my darndest to stop it!

So Autumn arrived today, it doesn't usually just come in a day, does it?!  Mad!  Yesterday we were in a pub garden in shorts swatting wasps and today we're in wellies and jumpers!  But I love Autumn.  I love the hot chocolate, pink nose, outdoor smells, stomping through the woods of Autumn and much as I have enjoyed living outdoors for the past few months, I'm quite looking forward to getting back to baking and painting and play dough etc.

And with Autumn comes our daughter's adoption order.  It's all done...signed, sealed delivered...she's ours!  We've had so many wonderful positive responses to the news and we are feeling very blessed at the moment.  I'm looking forward to the celebration hearing as I think Squiblet will be in her element!  I'm also looking forward to her big old party!  I have been busy making bunting...I am very excited!

We also took Squiblet to Grandad's fancy dress (70s theme) birthday party.  I wasn't sure how she would cope with that many curious outfit choices and wigs in one room (including a very convincing cross dressing Freddie Mercury complete with Hoover - I want to break free video).  But she took it all in her stride and had a lovely time playing with everyone and lapping up the attention - she was the only little one there.  Squiblet was rocking a fabulous combo of tie dye and rainbow leg warmers, she did us proud!

And last of all I have to give a shout out to my mum and dad who have been staying here for the last 4 days cleaning and tidying and hoovering and cooking and just generally letting me rest.  I feel like I've finally turned a corner and I'm on the up and it was so wonderful of them to do so much.  We didn't put that in our adopters assessment...grandparents will come down and do all housework and generally pamper should the need arise.  I wonder if we would have been approved even faster!

And I can't go without introducing Bob.  We adopted him from Build a Bear on the day Squiblet's adoption order was made.  Squiblet was rather bemused by the whole process but went along with kissing his heart and very seriously choosing his outfit.  She chose the sex, name and outfit...and thus a gay icon is born...meet Bob everyone!

Every year that she's interested I think we will take her to buy a new outfit for Bob.  It will be a sad day when she starts dressing him in boy clothes! I love how she has no preconceptions about this yet...go Squiblet!